


Lost and Found

by LouLa



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-10
Updated: 2011-03-10
Packaged: 2017-12-08 20:51:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/765883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LouLa/pseuds/LouLa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>From Kindergarten to College, Edward and Jasper lost and found a lot of things, the most significant being each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lost and Found

**Author's Note:**

> **No Stress Love Fest Fic Entry**  
>  **Prompt** **(** **s** **):** A combination of _35.) True love found, then lost. Is it possible to love again?_ And _40.) Valentine's Day through the years - Kindergarten, middle school, high school - always the same. What if college finally makes the difference?_

**October** **12, 1996**

Jasper Whitlock thought the bed sheet knotted at his neck was all he needed to be a superhero. With his cape tied tight around his neck, he dashed into the woods, confident he would be able to fight off any evil that came his way.

Mommy always told him not to leave the yard―there were big, scary things out in the woods. But Jasper wasn't afraid. Nothing could touch him; he was too fast, too strong. If he wanted to be, he was sure he could be invisible. He knew it.

Mommy hadn't been able to see him when he wrapped his cape tight around himself. She couldn't even hear his giggling as she called, "Jasper? Jasper, where are you?"

She'd been so surprised when he released the edges of the sheet and yelled, "Rawr!"

No. Nothing would dare come near him. He was tall and strong―everyone said so―and with his cape, he was the bravest and fiercest conqueror there had ever been.

He was brave, and he told himself that superheroes wouldn't be afraid of the dark as he pushed his way deeper into the forest. The underbrush grew thicker, he started to get cold, and everything was dark.

He started to run.

He ran as hard and fast as he could. He was scared; he didn't like the dark so much and his cape wasn't keeping him very warm.

He ran and he ran, and he could feel the sharp branches cutting his arms. He felt his cape slip loose from his neck, but he didn't dare to look to back to see his enemy catching up to him.

He started to cry.

Alone, afraid, lost, Jasper ran until his lungs ached and his feet hurt, his arms burned with scratches and his eyes ran dry.

Jake must have spotted Jasper first, because he took off from Edward Cullen's side faster than a bullet.

"Jake!" Edward yelled.

"He probably saw a squirrel," Edward's father said.

Edward darted ahead after the dog, partially ignoring his father's instructions to not get too far ahead.

Edward found Jake licking the face of a crying boy with dirty knees and scratched up arms.

"Dad!" he yelled.

He knew the boy from his kindergarten class. His name was Jasper. They hadn't talked, as Edward was quiet and didn't really like sharing his crayons―the other kids always broke them or gave them back all dulled down.

Edward pulled Jake away from the shaking boy by his collar, chastising him quietly while his dad jogged the distance between them.

Jasper didn't say much at all, and Edward didn't leave his side once his father had carried him back to their house. They didn't talk to each other, but Edward held Jasper's hand as his father cleaned the scratches on his arms.

He didn't want to let go, and he held on tight until Jasper's mother came. She hugged him and cried, and Edward stood back and watched, wondering why he hadn't thought to hug Jasper too. He looked a little happier after the hugs.

Before he left, Jasper gave Jake a hug, who obliged him with a slobbery kiss on the cheek, making Jasper smile and laugh. Edward's father squeezed his shoulder and told him to go say goodbye.

Edward dragged his feet on the way over, and mumbled a farewell, still feeling shy.

Jasper threw his arms around Edward's neck and hugged him tight. "You're a better superhero than me."

Hugging Jasper back, Edward knew he had found a friend.

― ― ―

**March** **25, 2002**

He had known who the sweatshirt belonged to when he found it in the lost and found. Instead of telling Jasper, Edward had taken the shirt himself last Friday. He wore it around the house all weekend, being careful not to get it dirty.

He wondered how long it would take Jasper to notice it when he wore it to school on Monday morning.

Jasper had been on the bus for about five minutes―sitting in his usual spot close to the heaters―when he left his seat to sit with Edward instead.

"That's my shirt," Jasper said, eyes narrowed suspiciously.

"I know," Edward replied calmly.

"Where did you find it?" Jasper asked, looking the shirt over―probably checking for damage.

Edward wasn't sure why he wanted to wear the shirt so much; it was Jasper's, therefore it was too big on him, but he liked it―he liked how it fit. He knew he shouldn't have wore it; he knew he was risking the chance that Jasper would be angry at him for not only taking his clothing, but wearing it too. Regardless, he wanted to know if Jasper would notice, and he had. He noticed within just five minutes, and he was sitting with Edward.

That sent an unexpected thrill through Edward's body, making him smile.

"So?" Jasper urged.

Shaking his head to clear the errant thoughts, Edward recounted the tale of organizing the lost and found items on Friday, as he usually did before he was due for a student council meeting.

When Edward finished the explanation, Jasper 'hmm'ed and tugged on the shirtsleeve. "Give it," he said.

Edward frowned.

It wasn't that he expected Jasper to let him keep it, but he forgot to bring another sweatshirt and it was cold.

Jasper saw Edward's frown before he could hide it by pulling the sweatshirt over his head.

Their frowns matched when Jasper saw that Edward only had a thin t-shirt on underneath. He shivered slightly, wrapped his arms around himself, and looked out the window.

"Why don't you keep it until the end of the day. I'd probably just lose it again anyway," Jasper said, pushing the sweatshirt back at Edward.

Edward nodded and shivered again, hurriedly stuffing his arms back into the sleeves and pulling it on.

The shirt hung on his thin frame, but Jasper couldn't help noticing how it fit him despite that fact.

He was glad Edward found his shirt, because for some reason, he liked seeing it on him.

― ― ―

**December** **28, 2006**

At sixteen years of age, Edward was long and wiry, taking up a lot of space on Jasper's small bed as they sat side by side atop it.

Tonight they were having a Lord of the Rings marathon. Last night had been the Harry Potter marathon. It was geeky, true, and maybe not really Jasper's thing, but he was desperate.

Something was wrong with Edward, and he needed to find out what it was.

Most people wouldn't have noticed the way he was keeping to himself more because he really wasn't outgoing to begin with, but Jasper noticed. Most people wouldn't have been able to tell he was losing weight because he was already so thin, but Jasper noticed. Most people didn't notice much of anything about Edward, but Jasper wasn't most people and he noticed a lot of things.

He always knew when Edward hadn't been able to sleep because he would come to school with his fingers still playing soundless tunes on imaginary keys. He always knew when Edward was having a rough day because his hair would be standing on end from him pulling at it with his fingers.

Edward's hair had been a mess for the past few weeks, with bruise-like circles forming under his eyes, fingers twitching restlessly, and weight disappearing off of his too skinny body.

That wasn't even taking into account that Edward had been avoiding Jasper for just as long as he'd been losing sleep and weight.

But Jasper was persistent, and Edward's parents were just as concerned by Edward's behavior as Jasper was, and together they decided that Jasper should spend the Christmas break figuring out what exactly was eating away at his friend.

Edward was lost, and Jasper knew it. He wouldn't let him suffer in the darkness alone anymore. He had to do _something_.

So far, Edward hadn't cracked. He was quiet and withdrawn, and not at all the boy that Jasper had grown up with. While it was normal that Edward was quiet and kept to himself, it wasn't at all normal for him to be shifting uneasily, as if he were uncomfortable being in Jasper's very presence. It certainly wasn't normal for Edward not to be commenting on the movie they were watching. He always did―always.

By the time the―long as hell―movies were over, Edward was sitting stiffly against the headboard, eyes cast to the right and fixed firmly on the wall. Of all the things in Jasper's room to look at, he picked the bare wall between Jasper's desk and closet to stare at.

"You need to tell me what's wrong," Jasper said as firmly, but gently, as he could.

The silence resumed, the only sound being the furnace running in the basement and their quiet breathing.

"Edward, you _have_ to tell someone what's wrong. You can't keep going on like this, it's―"

"I can't," he interrupted, "I can't tell you. I can't― I can't tell anyone, Jasper," he said, clenching his hands into tight fists at knees.

"Why?" Jasper implored. It was the most Edward had said in weeks, it seemed. He needed to keep him talking.

"Because," Edward sighed in return. "Because it'll ruin everything. Everyone will hate me. _You_ _'_ _ll_ hate me."

Jasper took a moment to think that over, and Edward's hands went to his hair, gliding through and pulling at the already messy locks.

"I couldn't ever hate you, Edward. It doesn't matter what you did. No matter what you did, your parents will still love you. We're worried sick about you, and you need to let us help you."

"I didn't _do_ anything," he practically growled. "No one can help me."

"Please just talk to me. Please. I promise you, I will _never_ hate you."

"Yes, you will. You don't understand, Jasper, I can't tell anyone!"

Edward was getting angry, but Jasper figured that was a hell of a lot better than the withdrawn attitude he'd been carrying around―slipping on the mask of indifference at any moment he thought he'd need it.

"Why, Edward? What could be so bad that everyone would hate you?"

Edward huffed and stared at the wall, sucking in sharp breaths of air and opening his mouth repeatedly as if he wanted to speak but couldn't quite find the words to say.

"Come on, Edward, just fucking say it," Jasper hissed through his teeth.

"I think I'm gay, alright? I..." he trailed off and closed his eyes.

There was a beat of silence before Edward shifted even further away from Jasper than he'd been before, somehow managing to look more stiff and uncomfortable.

"There, are you fucking happy now?" Edward said lowly, jaw held tight.

"What do you mean you think? Why aren't you sure?" Jasper asked, watching his friend closely.

At the question, Edward's head whipped towards Jasper, his eyes wide, his mouth agape. He was clearly incredulous. Apparently he wasn't expecting that―what he had been expecting, Jasper couldn't fathom.

"I..." Edward started, then stopped to swallow and scrub his hands over his face. "Why do you care?"

"It's a simple question, Edward," Jasper managed to reply through a tight throat.

"I haven't― I mean, it's not like I've... How am I supposed to know? I can't talk about this with you," Edward said, pushing himself up off the bed.

"Why?" Jasper demanded, climbing off the bed and meeting Edward at the door, placing his hand flat against it to stop Edward from opening it.

Edward could feel Jasper's breath on his ear when Jasper asked him again, "Why?"

Swallowing loudly, Edward turned to face Jasper, who was so close―too close.

"Tell me why, Edward. We've been friends since we were little. Why can't you talk to me about this?"

 _Because_ _it_ _'_ _s_ _your_ _fault_ , Edward wanted to scream at him, but all that came though his trembling lips was an airy, "Because."

"That's not an answer."

"Because you won't understand," Edward said.

Jasper came closer yet and Edward's head hit the door with a 'thud'. He tried to move away but Jasper blocked him in, placing his other hand at the other side of his head.

Edward might have been taller―and not by much―but Jasper had broader shoulders. He was stronger, and Edward knew it, but oddly enough, he wasn't afraid.

He was nervous, his heart was racing, he was probably sweating, but he wasn't afraid of Jasper.

"You don't think I'll understand?" Jasper asked, moving closer yet.

He was so close that Edward was going cross-eyed to see him; so close that he could smell the shitty cologne Jasper put on this morning. He could nearly taste him on his tongue.

"I― I don't know." Edward voice wavered, and Jasper smiled a little.

"You don't know. You're very confused, aren't you?"

Edward could hear the teasing tone in Jasper's voice, but he couldn't bring himself to care. He'd never been this close to another boy before, not like this―not with Jasper.

He was gasping for air; he couldn't make his mouth form the word, so he nodded his head instead.

"All you have to do is say it, Edward," Jasper whispered.

Edward's knees nearly gave out and every gulp for air made his head a little lighter.

"It's you," he gasped.

Jasper grinned a little before pushing his lips to Edward's. Then Edward's knees did give out and the kiss broke, and Jasper was stepping away, while Edward clung to the doorknob to stay upright.

And he'd just kissed a boy. He'd kissed Jasper Whitlock. Or Jasper Whitlock had kissed him. The finer details weren't what was important. His lips had been touching another boy's. That... that was what mattered.

"Better?" Jasper asked.

"No!" Edward shouted, disbelieving, shocked. Confused.

More confused than even before. Was he gay? He just kissed a boy―Jasper! He kissed Jasper.

Jasper kissed him.

He kept repeating it over and over in his mind, but it just wouldn't stick. He couldn't believe it.

He liked it―a lot―and wanted to do it again―a lot―but Jasper just shrugged and said, "Okay," before walking away and sitting down on the bed and flicking on the TV.

"What do you mean 'okay'?" Edward sputtered, stumbling over to the bed.

"I thought it would help, but you're still confused, so... Okay." Again, Jasper shrugged.

How could he be so nonchalant about it? For fuck's sake, they just kissed! Why wasn't he freaking out too?

Crawling onto the bed and kneeling at Jasper's side, Edward tried not to sound too interested, too tempted, too desperate.

"Maybe you should try again," he suggested.

He nearly missed it, but the TV flashed bright at just the right moment and he caught the smirk on Jasper's face and he figured it out.

"You asshole!" Edward groaned, punching Jasper in the arm.

Jasper laughed loud and hard, and Edward tried to escape quickly, but Jasper tackled him on the bed. Then he kissed him. And he kissed him again. And again. And again.

He kissed him until Edward lost his breath and found what he'd been looking for all along.

― ― ―

**June** **5, 2009**

At some point over the last two years, Edward had lost his best friend completely.

After that one so long, so right night spent kissing in Jasper's bed, things between the two had changed completely. Irrevocably.

Edward didn't have any idea that Jasper had been hiding a secret, just as he had been―though obviously Edward had done a piss-poor job at keeping his.

The problem though was that where Jasper was positive and sure, Edward was questioning and confused.

No amount of kissing in Jasper's bed helped him figure it out.

And so their friendship dwindled.

Edward couldn't go forward, and Jasper couldn't go back.

They'd managed to maintain a friendship at first, but then things started to get awkward, and Jasper would get so very uncomfortable if Edward would bring up a conversation about girls.

There were girls through high school―for Edward, at least. Jasper didn't date. School functions would be attended either stag or with Alice Brandon on his arm, but he adamantly never dated anyone and somehow managed to deflect most of the rumors.

Only Edward really knew why it was that he wasn't fucking his way through Forks High's female population when he easily could have been.

Jasper was agonizingly good-looking, and so many nights Edward would lie awake and wish he could find the courage to accept what he was starting to suspect to be true.

If he were straight, he reasoned, he wouldn't have been staring at the ceiling with his hand under his sheets, thinking about how Jasper had felt on top of him when they kissed.

Attempting to date girls was really all the proof anyone could have needed, but Edward was stubborn and he _attempted_ repeatedly.

It wasn't that he was ashamed to be gay; he was afraid, and he just wanted... needed to be certain.

Several poor attempts at dates and kissing and even some half-cocked fumblings was all Edward could take. The dates were boring, the kisses were lacking, and the fumbling just... wasn't. No one compared to Jasper.

By the time graduation rolled around, Edward was sure of two things.

He knew that he was gay―indisputably so―and he was too late.

He lost his chance.

Jasper was no where to be found.

― ― ―

**May** **22, 2010**

Jasper found it hard to believe that it'd been nearly a full year since he'd been home. Surprised was an understatement for the feeling he was having as he drove down the canopied road, rain dripping across his windshield.

Rain was something he hadn't seen in far too long; green was a color he remembered often, but not because of the trees. He really, really missed being home. Staying away for a year had been a mistake.

His parents greeted him in the yard―in the rain―with hugs, and a few tears from his mother. Silently, Jasper scolded himself for not coming home soon―for Thanksgiving, Christmas... just a fucking weekend. He knew what had kept him from leaving Phoenix, and he quickly changed the path of his thoughts because he didn't want to think of _him_ ―not now that he was free. Home.

They hauled all of Jasper's things into the house, settling him into his old room that had been left exactly the same as it was a year prior. Inhaling deeply, Jasper hugged himself and smiled at the rush of old memories.

He fell back onto his bed and closed his eyes, clearly remembering the only time he'd ever had anyone in this bed with him.

 _Edward_.

There were times when he regretted that night―it made things substantially more difficult for him over the years. Like when Edward showed up at prom with Bella Swan and made out with her in the middle of the dance floor―all Jasper had been able to think about was how he had been the one to teach Edward to kiss like that, and he was wasting it on that _girl_.

Sighing, Jasper shook his head. He couldn't take it back, and even if he could, he wouldn't want to. He wished things could have worked out differently between them, but that night spent in his bed kissing the hours away was one of the best memories he had with Edward.

After unpacking some of his things and showering, Jasper spent the remainder of his evening with his parents. It was quiet and comforting, exactly what he needed. He turned in early and wasn't surprised when he woke up hard after having dreams filled with Edward.

Digging through his clothing, he found a pair of shorts and his running shoes. He tried to look calm as he headed down the stairs, but his mind and his heart were racing. He needed to run―he needed to clear his head.

The narrow path through the woods was nearly completely overgrown. Thorns and twigs stung as they dug into Jasper's calves and forearms, but he pushed on regardless. He knew this path too well to get lost on it anymore.

He was pulling twigs out of his hair and brushing spider webs off of his shoulders by the time he stepped out onto the dirt path. Sighing, he looked both directions, picking which way to go. He knew which way he wanted to go, and that was in the direction of the Cullens.

Edward wished he would have kept a leash on Sam a moment too late. He wasn't even close to being a pup anymore, but he never lost the wild streak. Edward should have known better than to trust him to stay close.

Grumbling, Edward pushed himself faster down the dirt trail, following after his disobedient black Lab. It was times like these he missed Jake―not that he didn't love the pain-in-his-ass not-pup, Jake just always listened better.

What Edward found around the bend stopped him in his tracks, flooding his mind with memories.

Things were different now, that was true, but even so, the similarities were numbing.

Jasper Whitlock was a man now, and Sam was much more rambunctious than Jake had ever been. Jasper was on his back in the dirt, laughing through tears as Sam stood over him and licked him. Jasper's knees were dirty and bloody and his arms were scratched up, and Edward had a much tougher time pulling Sam off than he had with Jake. But most of all, Edward wasn't afraid anymore.

He wasn't afraid, and after helping Jasper up to his feet, he hugged him like he should have done fourteen years earlier.

And he kissed him like he should have done at every chance he'd been given.

Jasper was slow to react, and Edward feared that he was too late.

Finding Jasper again, lost in the woods, Edward wanted more than anything for this to be their chance.

He closed his eyes tighter when Jasper's fingers touched the hair at the back of his head. He closed his eyes so tight he could see stars, and even though he wasn't six years old anymore, he wished, and he wished, and he wished.

His wish came true, and he held on tight to the man in his arms, promising himself that he'd never let him go again.


End file.
